Quế Anh (oil pastel on paper) The life-theater play
To Nguyễn Tuân ( vietnamese writer)
The moonstruck seer of the night
Wearing a mask and slowly taking it off
To be confronted with innermost innocence
And with all the turmoils in our life
To see unconsciously on our face lightning-wrinkles
Of fore-reality and past adventures
To have with our hands a fatal healing touch
On unbearable immaterial wounds
And with piety listen to the celestial symphony
Cursing though these dumb shadows
Unknown ghosts or distorted images of ourselves
Appearing and disappearing in the life-theater play
Would you come, moonstruck seer of the night
Leaving behind the twilight - sunset of the world
And give me the haunting thought, deeply mine
Humanly wavering between darkness and daylight
As if the empty world could be filled up
With no meaning words and vain murmurs
Fleeting appearance with power to appease
Our failed rebellion and submissive despair
Shady misery-drive on endless road
In the penumbra of our dream and life-sorrows
Would you come, moonstruck seer of the night
And give me so for no reason
The destiny-burden
incandescent burning stone from the far-away star
II-
From the bottom of the depths
On evanescent screen of desires
Waning ray in a visionary dream
I would come out alike to your image
Endowed with a gift of messenger
To see and to apprehend
In a country where it was happy to be alive
Death could be pleasant
In our land of sufferings and sorrows
It could be meaningless if we have to die
I would walk as if in a sleepless night
Passageway of a gloomy motel
Dazzled by intense light
Loneliness full of anguish
And silence pregnant with ghostly murmurs
I would confront the dark world with challenge
A retained cry of distress
For all the lost opportunities of my life
Nightmares of my childhood
Losing my mind and my heart
I would wait for my perdition
An apparition bursting out from a hidden corner
To cradle me in a sea of wrecking waves
III-
To defy banality, we have the sea
Swell foam of wrath
In the deep night, a gleam of hope
I could realize boundaries of my fate
Innermost cave of secluded life
But with you, I would look for mirages
At the far end of desert
Treading on the sand with childhood wonders
And with lay wisdom
Bringing back the past over the dim present
I had strength, heart and memory
Remembered the pubescent breasts
Girly body under uneasy touch
Close to young boy’s breaths
In his wakening to life
Away from rice fields and fragrance of primroses
Wakening to the world mystery
Strikingly lost between life and death
I recalled the languid lady
Quietly seated in her long red gown
A wedding-night full of sensuality
And her milky body in the dismal next morning
Yet unfulfilled secret desires
With already apparent wrinkles of time
I could listen to your cries coming from nowhere
Winds whispering through flying clouds and fluttering leaves
Nuptial murmurs or delirious complaints
Ruffianly soldiers reeling at taverns’doors
Loose puppets in their hidings
Men assuming though to be leaders or princes
Giving orders to Aediles and settling the laws
Continuous stuttering to conceal their anguish
Senile acts in front of eternal oblivion
I went up tottering stairs to the seventh floor
In a shabby room open to the sun
Half-naked, “she ” was waiting for me
Seemingly “mine ” but so far away
I would put my head on the windy window sill
Hearing all the city’s noises
Finding myself so old in spite of my youth
A limpid look on the blurred lines of “her” beauty
I had a gust of life
And bitterness in existence impossibilities
My image reflected in the dark river
Between gliding barges
Carrying away tatters and stinking loads
Between the crowd I was a fleeced man
Amid multitude, I was so distracted
Having no more anxiety for life and death
In a long waiting line, chilled in the cold
I went to the fountain for a water-drink
For the whole night, standing with hunger
I realized our day-dream: the purity
Very drunkness in our perennial destitution
IV-
Waste land deep in the night
there were us, unhappily moulting for a season
re-born sea-gull, hampered wings beating
monotonously moving to remind futile struggles
throughout the ages repeated messages
scattered sheets of a forgotten photo-book
we had our dream from many other dreams
human condition in human society
and cried at the end of endless hours:
“Help! Help!”
madly we were looking and waiting for
the soap bubbles amid tree’s branches
the bursting iridescent bubbles
that the next door girl blew
barefooted and in tatters
her body so slender and so pure
yet with stigma of oblivion
still white cloud in the background
Would you come, moonstruck seer of the night
Fugacious phosphorescent apparition that I was waiting for
And give me so without reason the heavy stone
Burning dream for a day
Fading away in the twilight
12.08.2010
Ngovantao
(english version of the original long french poem: “A Nguyen Tuan: Le visionnaire de la nuit” .ngovantao-1982)